Dear god, what do i say to my friend?




I know a couple that is lost in the world. They aren’t married and the female has two children in DYFS and is doing her best to straighten up. Her boyfriend clings to her and manipulates her every move because he knows that she is his easy ticket out. She knows he is not good for her but is dependent on him and says she is scared to be alone. The more I pray the more the Lord shows me chaos, confusion, deception and manipulation. My heart is there to help and guide her the way the Lord leads me. I need a word. Give me a word.


Beloved, do not be confused.  This woman is not your friend, neither by world standards nor by biblical measures!  

Your “friend” would not turn her back on you and her children to serve her worldly master (her boyfriend).  She dwells in the darkness of a psychologically and spiritually abusive relationship.  She is voluntarily choosing to remain in captivity!

Jesus described as “friends”, persons with whom He had shared all things that He had heard from His Father (Truth).  Truth is, by biblical standards, your so-called “friend” is neither neutral nor harmless, but an enemy of God.  Not once, but numerous times during a day, your “friend” chooses something of the world over you, her children, and God.  Your anger, hurt and disappointment from her rejection has given way to your hopelessness, despair and grief.

Since you are not friends, then what is currently the true nature of your relationship with this woman? As God’s ambassador, what should be your ministry to this woman? Have you challenged your own wrong, misguided thoughts, attitudes, behaviors?  Have you 1) prayed; 2) shown the love of God despite her wretched state; 3) prayed;  4) assessed her material needs so that you could facilitate them being addressed; 5) prayed; 6) shared the gospel and modeled the gospel; 7) prayed; 8) relied upon the Holy Spirit to convict and save her, 9) prayed;  10) given thanks to God for using and teaching you in this situation? Praise God.  LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAYSO!


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Min. Robert & Dr. Astra Brantley are counselors that have been called to serve the body of Christ. For more information, visit

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